So, in just a few weeks, I will turn 38. My friend Ann told me that I can't now deny that I am in my late 30s, but honestly I thought I couldn't deny it when I turned 37. Apparently, I could and I didn't get the memo.
Previously, I was more into my birthday, but right now I am not so much. I think it is the pressure that people put on getting close to 40. I don't feel that pressure, really, since I can't imagine that turning 40 will feel much different than turning 38, or even 30. These relative ages are more of a sign that I have survived than anything else, I don't subscribe to this idea that just because there is a zero in my age that something big needs to happen. If I want something big to happen, then my age has little to do with it. Of course, I could look at it as I am running out of time, but to feel that pressure I would need to set a goal that would need to be completed before death. I don't really have such a goal other than live long. (and prosper).
I haven't blogged here in a while because I really haven't had much to blog about. I think Tycho on
Penny Arcade summed it up for me "'Who the fuck do you think you are? Who are you that you can force your Goddamned minutia on other people, your stupid bullshit, your stone-ground artisanal condiments? How dare you. You should be ashamed.' And I was." Really, unless you want to hear about my meal plans and work drudgery, I got nothing. I could talk about going to the gym, but "I go to the gym 4 days a week now" really sort of sums that up.
I can tell you that I had a soul crushing new hire class that has seriously called into doubt all of my skills as a trainer and a professional. This group pushed me to limits I didn't know I had and drained every ounce of charity, honesty and fairness from my body. The level of disrespect was appalling and they are now famous in our center as being the worst class that we have ever had. And that was my entire month of April, dealing with them and trying to maintain my sanity. As of this writing, I still don't want to deal with people because I don't have any reserves of patience left. In my 4 years of training new hires, I had only had to fail 1 person. I failed 2 in this class. 6 others were put on notice out of 17. I can't imagine how anyone in a high school teaching job can deal with students with this mindset without trying to kill them all. I guarantee that they aren't paid enough to keep the homicide in check.
